For some reason, Audacity was so disgusted with the dialogue from the original video, it absolutely refused to export the combined audio track (Original audio + Commentary audio) properly. That, or perhaps that flying fucking rock possessed my audio editing software in some failed attempt to prevent the commentary from coming out. Those are my two excuses for the commentary track being choppy and disjointed at times, and I’m sticking to it.

Guest commentary by Hbomberguy and jordanhass

I can’t imagine what would possess someone to subject themselves to the original video.

YadatoBooshi gives you an update on his fascinating life!

UPDATED DESCRIPTION (2010): This video served as a “call-out”, directed at YouTuber “YamatoBushi”. Between posting pictures of his fursona on his deviantART profile and dubbing anime, he contributed to a commentary channel by the name of “FeatureOfFailure” (Which disbanded shortly after the call-out was posted).

Ash Ketchum waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were Pokemon in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Professor Oak were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Ash was a Pokemon Trainer for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the Elite Four and he said to dad “I want to fight the Elite Four daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY POKEMON”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the forest of the Viridian City he knew there were Pokemon.
“This is Gary” the radio crackered. “You must fight the Pokemon!”
So Ash gotted his pokeball and caught the Metapod.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the Pokemon
“I will string shot at him” said the Caterpie and he fired the shot of string. Ash threw a pokeball at him and tried to catch him. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to catch.
“No! I must catch the Pokemon” he shouted
The radio said “No, Ash. You are the Pokemon”
And then Ash was a Charmander.

Guest commentary by jordanhass and Hbomberguy

uppermanxx approves of the original video! That makes one person out there who does.

Once, there was a young LPer by the name of RelicYoshiOmega. He was so terrible at LPs, that everybody died. The end.

Guest commentary by Hbomberguy

The original video doubles as a bedtime story for your kids! Side effects may include fear of dinosaurs and insomnia.

Whenever we make fun of children, we always get angry responses from people calling us assholes for it. It’s not our fucking fault that, as one grows older, they tend to become more responsible and have better senses of judgment. Sure, you have your “kids-at-heart” types like Chris-chan and NintendosAdvocate, who stopped growing up mentally at around the age of thirteen. But for the most part, you will find that children are responsible for the bulk of the crap that pollutes Youtube. So, call us what you will for making fun of kids, but at least have the common courtesy to recommend some adult alternative that’s worthy of being mocked.

Guest commentary by jordanhass

Remember, guys: If you can find a video review worse than the original video, post it on the Films For the Fustilarian board on the METOKUR Forums, in the thread titled “Prove Habermann Wrong”. I’m sure we can set up some sort of gimmicky prize for your efforts or something like that.